When Kaspar-Williams and his husband Malik welcomed their son Hudson via C-section in 2020, it should have been a moment of pure joy. Instead, the experience was marred by repeated misgendering from hospital staff—a painful reminder of how far healthcare still has to go in recognizing diverse gender identities.
Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old transgender man who also uses they/them pronouns, had clearly marked “male” on all medical paperwork. Yet nurses consistently referred to him as “mother” throughout the birth process. “It was disheartening,” he shared. “After years of living authentically as myself, to suddenly be called something I’m not during such a vulnerable moment—it hurt.”
Having transitioned in 2014 (while choosing not to undergo lower body surgery), Kaspar-Williams had already navigated the complex emotions of pregnancy as a transgender man. But the hospital experience highlighted a deeper issue: the automatic association between childbirth and womanhood. “Carrying a child doesn’t make me a mother any more than it makes my husband one,” he explained. “Fatherhood isn’t defined by biology.”
His story underscores the urgent need for better LGBTQ+ training in medical settings—where a simple pronoun can mean the difference between feeling seen or erased during life’s most precious moments.